Kisah putri, naga, dan tiga pangeran

Pada suatu hari, ada seorang putri cantik yang diculik dan dipenjara di sebuah menara. Seperti biasa, istana tempat penjara putri tersebut dijaga oleh seekor naga....

dan diiringi background musik metal...

Putri itu hanya bisa pasrah dan menunggu ada seorang ksatria yang akan datang dan membunuh naga tersebut lalu menyelamatkannya. Akhirnya hari yang ditunggu-tunggu pun tiba. Datanglah sekaligus tiga ksatria dari tiga negara yang berbeda....

Ketiga ksatria ini sadar bahwa naga sebesar itu akan sulit dihadapi sendirian, karena itu mereka sepakat untuk bekerja sama....

Ksatria yang pertama adalah orang yang pintar. Ia mempelajari seluk-beluk spesies naga tersebut. Ia mencari kekuatan dan kelemahannya. Ia mengumpulkan data dari berbagai perpustakaan di kerajaan. Ia mempelajari pola makan, habitat, ketajaman indra, bahkan jarak dan sudut semburan api naga tersebut. Ia juga melakukan percobaan pada spesies naga yang lebih kecil. Pada akhirnya ia merumuskan sebuah strategi jitu untuk mengalahkan sang naga...








Ksatria kedua adalah seseorang yang ahli perkakas. Menggunakan logam paling kuat yang ada di seluruh daratan, ia membuat pedang yang akan dapat membunuh naga tersebut. Pedang itu dirancang sedemikian rupa agar dapat menembus sisik naga yang tebal, tahan panas semburan api naga, kuat dan tidak mudah patah, namun cukup ringan untuk digunakan manusia. Selain itu, ksatria kedua juga membuat perlengkapan pendukung lain seperti panah, tombak, dan perisai yang didesain khusus untuk melawan naga...


Ksatria ketiga adalah seorang petarung. Dengan bermodalkan strategi dan senjata dari kedua ksatria lainnya, ia maju untuk melawan sang naga. Dan ia pun berhasil membunuhnya...

Mereka bertiga telah berhasil menyelamatkan sang putri cantik. Dan (sebagaimana yang sudah dapat ditebak sebelumnya), sang putri memilih ksatria ketiga karena dengan gagah perkasa berhasil membunuh naga. Sang ksatria dan putri pun menikah dan hidup bahagia. Mudah-mudahan untuk selamanya....

Pesan moral dari cerita ini : Sehebat apapun anda bekerja di balik layar, yang biasanya dapet cewek (atau dapet penghargaan) tuh orang yang tampil. Bhahahaha......

peace gan....

cerita selingan doang nih sambil nunggu inspirasi Joni Dropkick berikutnya,
mudah-mudahan sih bisa selesai sesuai jadwal....

Ksatria pertama : "Hey, mau minum-minum di tavern sambil dengerin musik emo ?"

Ksatria kedua : "Good idea..."

Short Story Of A Normal Guy

Suatu hari ada seorang pria
berjalan pulang dari tempat kerja
di tengah jalan, tak sengaja ia temukan
sebuah kotak tua penuh dengan ukiran

Tanpa pikir panjang, segera ia buka
ternyata isinya membuatnya terpana
di dalamnya ada kostum superhero
disertai selembar memo

Tulisannya : kostum ini akan memberikan kekuatan super
bisa terbang, teleport, dan mata mengeluarkan laser
pemakainya akan menjadi sangat kuat dan cepat
super jenius dan jago silat

Ia juga akan dapat mengendalikan waktu
tahan api, peluru, dan tahan tidak buang air besar dua minggu
bisa menghilang dan menembus dinding,
juga bisa omnislash, echo slam, finger of death... sinting....

Tapi di memo, ada tulisan kecil setelah ia teliti :
"With great power, comes great responsibility"
Seketika ia menjadi tidak tertarik dan enggan,
ia letakkan kostum itu dan kembali berjalan...

STFU NOOB !!!

"STFU" stands for "Shut The F Up". Now I don't have to tell what the "F" word is here because : 1) This is not a cheap article, 2) I am actually a good man, 3) Some of the readers might get sensitive, 4) Y'all know it anyway... So you are free to figure out what STFU stands for by your own imagination.

It can be one of the following:
- Shut The Flintstone Up
- Shut The Fitzgerald Up
- Shut The Faggot Up
- Shut The Fernando Up
- Shut The Fantastic Up
- Shut The Freddymercury Up
- Shut The Fatality Up
- Shut The Featherweight Up
- Shut The Freemason Up
- Shut The Finland Up
- Shut The Formaldehyde Up
- Shut The Fornicate Up (hey this is actually quite it....)
- etc

"Shut The Fornicate Up, NOOB !!!"

So, what the fornicate is this article about? Well, basically I just wanna say STFU NOOB for all the COMPLAINERS out there. Yeah this is a big "F you" for all of your n00b complaints, you unworthy n00b in life. This piece of article is actually a complaint about complaints.

I'm not saying that complaint is bad. There are positive complaint and negative complaint. If you buy a cappuccino at Starbucks and it tastes bad, you may complain about it. If you can't take your Ducati to the maximum speed because the roads are bumpy, you may complain about it and hopefully they'll fix them. If the Wolfman movie sucks, you complain about it and perhaps Benicio Del Toro will stop playing in shitty movies. So basically positive complaints are reasonable complaints that are meant to make something better.

The negative complaint is, well, negative. It is the complaint about some misfortune that happened because of their own choice. It's like playing a video game on impossible difficulty and cursing about how hard it is. It is the ridiculous complaint that should never be spoken out. It is the unnecessary complaint in which the solution is actually there to be done by themselves. Hell, this article is might be a negative complain about complainers....

The chart below indicates the proportion of positive versus negative complaints around us...

The blue part is actually there if you look closer...

The media is responsible for almost all the negative complaint we've ever heard of. Lately there are people who protest about how unfair the High School National Exam is. The ridiculous part is most of them are people who are failed at the exam. I say STFU NOOB for them, because while failing is already considered to have a lack of brain-cells and dignity, bitching about it will only make you look stupider. And if there are those who failed, well that's EXACTLY what the National Exam is there for!! It is a giant filter who separate those who study hard and those who don't. So if you are one of those who failed miserably at the National Exam, help us by not complaining about it, and shoot yourself is an absolutely better option....


I also heard a news about someone who complain about how expensive the hospital is so they couldn't take their newborn child to the hospital. While I am also a sympathetic person, I have two arguments : 1) From the era of man-fighting-mammoths, there are no hospital yet. But mankind strive to live, and we are still here now is a proof that the absence of hospital doesn't cause human to extinct. So "hospital" is not a must for a baby to avoid death, 2) They already know that the hospital gonna cost much, and yet THEY STILL HAVING BABIES. OMG this is why we are so overpopulated. I'm not saying that the poor shouldn't have children, they may, but don't complain about how high the education fees are or how pricey the babies milk are. They should have considered those risks before popping out those soon-to-inherit-the-earth....

"If you can't feed, don't breed, NOOB !!!"

I have an example of how the absence of complaint could make a nation stronger. Did the Japs complain when they got hit by the A-bomb? Of course not, cause dead people can't complain...

"because dead man tell no tale..."

No seriously, there were a few complaints here and there back then. But eventually they just went over it, and grow to be one of the giant in automotive, electronics industry, and other things....

other things...

Complaints? Well, we just never heard any of it again now, not like the Jews still complaining about the holocaust or the Palestines complaining about the military aggressions. Hell, their opponent haven't used the atomic bombs yet...

There are still many many examples of negative complaints around us. Some complain about how suck their job is, the job which they CHOSE themselves, and when they can still resign if they don't like it. There are others who complain about how hard living in Jakarta, yet why the fornicate do they come here in the first place? Some even complain about how high the traffic fines are and how evil the cops (who caught them) are, which they could avoid it by NOT DOING ANY TRAFFIC VIOLATION.

"Yes, I saw the red light officer, I just didn't see you..."

So are you thinking what I'm thinking, you know what we need here in Indonesia ?

Definitely...

Looking For Unicycle...

Gue lagi pengen beli Speda Roda Satu.
Ada yang punya info dimana yang jual di Jakarta Selatan / Depok dengan harga dibawah 400 ribu? Terima Kasih...

Colouring Apparatus...

The entire city, is an exciting playground
Woah,
This makes me so happy...

In this case, I will be quite busy
Desperately trying to catch her...
The bright sun shines upon everyone's feelings,

...

But why?

Why it's only me who's getting yelled at?

...

Under the warm summer,
The days of joy and happiness,
The elephant somehow caught cold,

Sneezing....
over...
and over...
and over again....

The bear lies asleep,
And nobody ever dares to disturb it,
Oh, what a busy day !!
I am soooo busy...

...