Under his situation, I would probably ask for the same thing...

If I were the producer of "YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER"

Jam 10 pagi. Gue lagi maen ALIEN SHOOTER di PC kantor. Lalu ada bunyi ketukan pintu, dan seseorang masuk ke ruangan gue. 

Woody Allen rupanya. Ia datang membawa sebuah naskah, rupanya ia baru menulis film terbarunya. Ia meletakkannya di meja untuk gue baca. Sebelum gue membuka halaman pertama, gue bisa melihat judulnya di halaman cover, "YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER"

Gue (G) : "Dark?"
Woody (W) : "uh... what?"
G : ".......   You mean, black? Right?"
W : "No, dark as in, you know, umm... not-so-whitey?"
G : "...So it's black"
W : "Well.... Not like those... umm... Hip-hop people...      What I mean is ..." (mulai kesel)
G : "Oh, so we're referring them as 'hip-hop people' now? How about rapper dudes or basketball players or gangsters-who-aim-sideways or KFC-cults or people-who-drive-Cadillac-Escalade-with-overkill-sound-systems?"
W : "Ah, whatever.... Look, why don't you just start reading the script. You'll know what I mean..."

Aim sideways

G : (membaca naskah)

G: "Wait... so this is not a thriller-genre movie?"
W : "Huh? Of course not"
G : "This, tall dark stranger is not supposed to be a psychotic serial killer who killed all of his victim with chainsaw or sledge hammer or carrots?"
W : "No... But... What do you mean by..... and how the fuck... do you kill someone with a carrot?"
G : "Trust me, I've seen one"
W : "Well, this is NOT a thriller okay? Now please, read them all won't you?"

Clive Owen can do it

G : (lanjut baca naskah)

G : "This sucks, dude..."
W : "What? Why?"
G : "Failed marriage? Opera dates? Old-man flirting? Geez... C'mon man.... There aren't any martial-arts fighting or exploding cars? No blood and decapitation? No main character entering the room and pulling a shotgun from a box of roses?"
W : (mulai mikir "Why the fuck did I choose this asshole as my producer?")

No kungfu fighting? Sucks...

G : "The only thing that can save this movie is that if we have great actors and actress in it. Like what they usually do in Indonesian movies. Covering cheap-ass plot with nice-looking or talented-senior players."
W : "Why, sure.. I'm actually thinking of Hopkins, Banderas, Naomi Watts, Freida Pinto, and maybe that bad guy from Wall Street 2... umm.. Josh Brolin, and... Hey, did you just call my script 'cheap-ass' ?"
G : "No, no... I mean people like Dwayne Johnson or John Cena or Steve Austin..."
W : "So what you mean by 'great actors' are all ex-smackdown wrestlers? Okay that's it... I'm outta here..."

Legendary actor

(lalu Woody Allen beralih pada produser Letty Aronson dkk sehingga tak lama kemudian, film "YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER" ditayangkan di bioskop seluruh dunia...)

THIS IS WHY MY HDD IS ALWAYS EMPTY

Ini untuk menjawab pertanyaan "Moy, di komputer elo ada film apa aja? Bagi dong...."

PINDAHAN...

Mulai sekarang, cerita-cerita JONI DROPKICK akan dipindahkan ke website baru :

http://jonidropkick.blogspot.com/

(masih under construction)

Sedangkan artikel-artikel lain "non-Joni Dropkick" akan tetap dipublikasikan di website ini. Untuk episode-episode JONI DROPKICK yang sudah ada, dapat tetap dibaca di website ini (tidak akan dihapus). Akan tetapi, perpindahan ini belum permanen, dan akan melewati masa percobaan. Jika Anda SETUJU / TIDAK SETUJU mengenai perpindahan ini, silakan tulis di fitur comment beserta alasannya....

Terima kasih,

penulis

TWO MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT

Hari ini aku mulai masuk sekolah

Asyiiiikk !!!

Ketemu bu guru

Ketemu teman teman

Aku pakai seragam sendiri

Aku udah bisa iket tali sepatu sendiri

Mama bikinin aku roti keju

Buat dimakan pas istirahat

Aku jalan ke sekolah

Ada anjing galak !!!

Aku dikejar !!! Aku takut !!!

Aku lari ke rumah lagi

Aku ada akal

Aku tau dimana papa nyimpen pistolnya

Ini dia di laci meja

Aku bawa pistolnya di tas

Aku pernah liat papa nembak orang jahat

Papa pake pistol ini

Papa keren !!!!

Aku ketemu anjing yang tadi

Aku tembak pake pistol

Tadi anjingnya menggonggong

Sekarang anjingnya tiduran

Aku bisa pergi ke sekolah

Ketemu bu guru

Ketemu teman teman

Maen perosotan

Asyiiikkk !!!

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