Projectionist Voices - "Kantor Kita"

Hanya Pacific Place ,tempat kerja kita

tanpa Playstation, tanpa smoking room...

Ruang Projectionist dingin dan gelap,

namun semua ini punya kita,

memang semua ini milik kita sendiri..

Hanya ada toilet, tidak ada shower

tanpa air panas, tanpa jacuzzi...

Kalau mau jajan, musti ke KTS

namun semua itu punya kita,

memang semua itu milik kita...

Chorus 1:

Lebih baik di PP

Kantor kita sendiri

Segala nikmat dan anugerah Yang Kuasa

Semuanya ada di PP...

Kantor kita...

Bridge :

Haruskah kita pindah ke BCP,

Yang gak ada listriknya...

Kalau setting event, kerja sampai pagi

Begitu pulang, lihat matahari

Apalagi midnight, jarang banget "Landing"

namun semua ini job-desc kita

memang semua ini job-desc kita sendiri....

Tidak ada Mona ,hanya tinggal Wisnu

ditambah sama Tante Mariyam

Yang cantik gak ada, tinggal yang sengsara

namun semua itu leader kita,

memang semua itu leader kita...

Chorus 1:

Lebih baik di PP

Kantor kita sendiri

Segala nikmat dan anugerah Yang Kuasa

Semuanya ada di PP...

Kantor kita...

Bridge 2:
Haruskah kita semua resign aja,
Tapi modal kawin, dari mana...

Tidak ada Fitri

Atau Bunga dan Zee,

Sekarang paling cuma si Chessa

Tapi ada Tina, dan juga Resti

Begenk masih bisa masturbasi

Irvan masih bisa masturbasi, sendiri...

Kagak bisa facebook, tapi bisa bokep

Sawomatang dan Spankwire dot com

Si Dedi Subardja suka bokep Amerika

Kalo gue suka bokep Jepang,

Paling enak emang bokep Jepang...

Chorus 2 :

Lebih baik di hard disk

Bokep kita sendiri

Dari Luna Maya sampai Maria Ozawa,

Semuanya ada di drive D:

Bokep kita...

Ada di drive D:

Bokep kita...

Ada di drive D:

Sekian, semua ini hanya fiksi belaka
maaf jika ada yang tersinggung :D

BONUS : 

Ismoyo Food Adventure : Mie Tarik

They don't make bakmie-tarik like this where I'm from,

So big-sized, so divine...

So I sniff, and I lick this tempting food,

and fall to little pieces every time I wonder what spices they put into,

I wonder how they tenderized the meat,

I wonder how they cook this food,

and curse myself for betraying KFC

Chorus : 

Why are you so fuckin' expensive?

I need food but my pocket is empty...

I could never eat you, my wallet says it's wrong...

They've got my money, I've got my meal...

==========

BONUS : 

===========

NO, BITCH !!!!

TIDAK !!!

Saya enggak punya kartu member...

TIDAK !!!

Saya enggak mau bikin kartu member...

TIDAK !!!

Saya enggak mau beli pulsanya sekalian...

TIDAK !!!

Saya enggak punya uang pas...

JUST GIMME MY BOTTLED WATER, BITCH !!!

Under his situation, I would probably ask for the same thing...

If I were the producer of "YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER"

Jam 10 pagi. Gue lagi maen ALIEN SHOOTER di PC kantor. Lalu ada bunyi ketukan pintu, dan seseorang masuk ke ruangan gue. 

Woody Allen rupanya. Ia datang membawa sebuah naskah, rupanya ia baru menulis film terbarunya. Ia meletakkannya di meja untuk gue baca. Sebelum gue membuka halaman pertama, gue bisa melihat judulnya di halaman cover, "YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER"

Gue (G) : "Dark?"
Woody (W) : "uh... what?"
G : ".......   You mean, black? Right?"
W : "No, dark as in, you know, umm... not-so-whitey?"
G : "...So it's black"
W : "Well.... Not like those... umm... Hip-hop people...      What I mean is ..." (mulai kesel)
G : "Oh, so we're referring them as 'hip-hop people' now? How about rapper dudes or basketball players or gangsters-who-aim-sideways or KFC-cults or people-who-drive-Cadillac-Escalade-with-overkill-sound-systems?"
W : "Ah, whatever.... Look, why don't you just start reading the script. You'll know what I mean..."

Aim sideways

G : (membaca naskah)

G: "Wait... so this is not a thriller-genre movie?"
W : "Huh? Of course not"
G : "This, tall dark stranger is not supposed to be a psychotic serial killer who killed all of his victim with chainsaw or sledge hammer or carrots?"
W : "No... But... What do you mean by..... and how the fuck... do you kill someone with a carrot?"
G : "Trust me, I've seen one"
W : "Well, this is NOT a thriller okay? Now please, read them all won't you?"

Clive Owen can do it

G : (lanjut baca naskah)

G : "This sucks, dude..."
W : "What? Why?"
G : "Failed marriage? Opera dates? Old-man flirting? Geez... C'mon man.... There aren't any martial-arts fighting or exploding cars? No blood and decapitation? No main character entering the room and pulling a shotgun from a box of roses?"
W : (mulai mikir "Why the fuck did I choose this asshole as my producer?")

No kungfu fighting? Sucks...

G : "The only thing that can save this movie is that if we have great actors and actress in it. Like what they usually do in Indonesian movies. Covering cheap-ass plot with nice-looking or talented-senior players."
W : "Why, sure.. I'm actually thinking of Hopkins, Banderas, Naomi Watts, Freida Pinto, and maybe that bad guy from Wall Street 2... umm.. Josh Brolin, and... Hey, did you just call my script 'cheap-ass' ?"
G : "No, no... I mean people like Dwayne Johnson or John Cena or Steve Austin..."
W : "So what you mean by 'great actors' are all ex-smackdown wrestlers? Okay that's it... I'm outta here..."

Legendary actor

(lalu Woody Allen beralih pada produser Letty Aronson dkk sehingga tak lama kemudian, film "YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER" ditayangkan di bioskop seluruh dunia...)