Yang saya mau selalu yang tidak ada

"I want a new cellphone"

To all my colleagues at work...

Dear beloved workmates,

I know that most of you came from countries where English is not the primary language, so I fully understand your lack of communication skills, and certainly I will not go Samuel "Motherfucking" Jackson on you (unless that time when this guy tried to speak to me in his local dialect, ooh that was fun).

But even if you are from the deepest jungle of I-don't-give-a-crap-where, they must taught you there on how to be nice and polite when speaking to your fellow inmates, I mean workmates. And by workmates, I simply meant that you and me are basically on the same level. You're not my direct superior and neither am I to you. Unless when you're challenging me to a PC game competition, because when such event happens, I will completely own the ever loving shit out of you.

So here are the examples of wrong sentences, and the right ones below each. Please study them well :)

Wrong (W) : Send me the report
Right (R) : Can you please send me the report?


W : Get those things for me
R : Can you tell me where can I get those things?


W : Tell the driver to pick me up at the airport
R : Can you give me the driver's number, so I can tell him to pick me up at the airport?


W : Here are the presentation slides. Complete them with your data.
R : Can you give me your data, so I can complete my presentation slides with it?


W : I need to print this document now
R : Do you know how to install the printer's driver?


W : Come here for a sec
R : Are you busy now? I just wanna ask something


W : Send it to me today
R : I'm really sorry I have to make this sudden request, but I really need it today. Can you do it? Thanks for your time


W : Tell the team to speed up their progress
R : I think we need to tell the team to speed up their progress


W : I'm done. Now let's go home together
R : What time will you finish your work? Maybe we can go home together


W : (decrease the temperature of the aircon)
R : Do you mind if I set the aircon a bit cooler? 




That's all for now. Thanks and good luck with whatever boring things that you do for a living :)

MAMAENAN

Casual Superpowers

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Mampu mempengaruhi pikiran teman yang membawa kendaraan, supaya dia mau memberikan tebengan atau antar-jemput...

"Oy jemput gue di rumah dong..."

2. Cheapburger

Mampu memilih kombinasi yang rasio price-to-quantity paling murah setiap kali makan di fastfood.

"Burger goceng dua, orange juice satu..."

3. Annual Invisibility

Kemampuan untuk menghilangkan diri, namun hanya sekali dalam setahun, yaitu pada saat ulang-tahunnya. Tujuannya supaya tidak usah mentraktir orang-orang...

4. Entangling Leg-Hair

Bulu kakinya yang lebat mampu menjebak nyamuk yang ingin hinggap di kaki sehingga mati terperangkap...